Thursday, January 29, 2015

Marriage and Cheating...

So, I saw this joke:

A Nigerian and his wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to London, Paris or New York, no more Christmas abroad, no more weekend trips to South Africa or Dubai, no more Mercedes, Land Rover or BMW in the garage and no more Boat Club, Beach House or Ikoyi Club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, another Nigerian friend enters the restaurant with a younger gorgeous girl on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Chief?" asks the wife.

That's his mistress," says her husband.

Ours is prettier," she replies.

As hilarious as the joke was, the comments that followed were even funnier and it got me thinking, why do wives get bent out of shape about their men's philandering?

There is a children's book called, Everyone Poops...there should be an adult book named, Everyone Cheats! Yes, men, women, goats...In my opinion, and as I've come to realize, it is abnormal for a man not to cheat and abnormal for a woman to cheat (per society rules).
Abnormal for a man not to cheat because it is expected that he will. Hearing about a man not cheating when the opportunity is rampant is stranger than fiction. Abnormal for a woman to cheat because it is expected that she won't.
Marriage for a woman (well, used to be) means security and stability; men get married to procreate...These days all of those can be achieved outside of marriage and are no longer considered contemptible, so why bother getting married?

Since biblical times, Adam was probably the only monogamous man and that was probably because Eve was the only woman around. They bed their maids and wives sisters etc. I think this is when I realized that all men cheat and are predisposed to cheat.

Back to the joke, it implied that the wife was cool with her husband carrying on with other women as long as she got to keep her lifestyle. Some comments took offense to the implication; I, on the other, felt that was a good move on the wife's part.

Many years ago, I definitely would have been very upset but knowing what I know now, not so much. Cause, tell me, what is the better alternative? Leave a place of material comfort, for another who is going to turn around and do the same thing? I think not!

What do you think?

Friday, January 09, 2015

Happy New Year...

Hello blogosphere (are we still called that?)...

OMG!! It's been like forever, hasn't it? I sowweeeee...

I don't know, I think I get carried away with life and then journal for myself and not the rest of the world. When I started this blog, I did it incognito, I wanted to talk about my life without talking about my life.

So much has happened to me, and I've just not chronicled it here. Forgive! Blame it on facebook!!

Anyway, I am back...well, I will try to be more present, so much goes on everyday, things need to be talked about.

I hope your year was fun and I pray this year will be better than the best year you've ever had.

Love and light!!

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Raven-Symone...I don't want to be labeled

Raven-Symone is an African-american/black woman who apparently is in a same-sex relationship and is happy.

Just last week, she appeared on an episode of "where are they now" on Oprah and proclaimed that she does not want to be labeled; she said she is not african-american and does not want to be labeled "gay".

Today, black America is in an uproar!

She has been accused of experiencing mental slavery; people have called her a moron and a whole lot of other derogatory remarks have been spewed upon her.

What I have found is that people in this country lack the mental patience or verbosity to communicate. Conversations are ever so literal and succinct; which makes it easy to dwell on the tiniest little slip.

Let's just take a hot minute to really think about what this young woman is trying to say.

Raven-Symone saying that she is not African-American, in my opinion, does not mean that she is denying her race. She qualified that by saying, she is American! She does not want to be boxed in. She doesn't know what her total racial makeup is and she really does not care or is not motivated to research it. What she does know is that she was born in America and is American and she is fine with that. I get that!

This country is inappropriately focused on the wrong things, (race, sexual orientation, etc)! I have a colleague who has been unemployed for over a year who keeps asking if white people are going through the same thing he is going through. Seeing as how caucasians are the majority in this country, I am fairly certain that there are a good bit of white people who are unemployed. However, when I ask him if he would take a job on an oil rig or construction, he immediately talks about how he can't work an outside job because he'll catch a cold and gets sick easily! I wonder, is he really trying to get out of his predicament or is he just mad and blaming white people for his predicament.

Now, I may be wrong in my thought process, and Raven-Symone may actually not want to identify with her African roots but who fucking cares! Well, according to this blogger's readers, there are young impressionable African Americans who are looking up to Raven-Symone as their role model. Ha!

When are people going to realize that entertainers are not role models! They are like court jesters of old, here to entertain and just that. People should not be looking to them for wisdom and knowledge, that is what you have your parent's for, your educators for! Entertainers play pastors on tv but in real life are child molesters and predators. These are not people one should emulate or aspire to be.

So Raven-Symone, do you! I understand your neutrality, I understand your choice of just wanting to be a happy, healthy human being. However, if one day you decide to do some digging into your history and you happen to find out that you are in fact African-American, you don't need to go back to Oprah for a televised declaration, we already know.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Culprit America

Living in America has been both rewarding and depressing; rewarding because it forces one to mature, depressing because it forces one to mature...**cue double-edged sword**

In Nigeria, one has the luxury of living in one's parents' home even until/after marriage; not such a good idea because of the feeling of entitlement it bestows on the individual. Although I attended a boarding school in Nigeria, I was still very much under the auspices of my parental units. Moving to the States, at first, was not too different from boarding school, however, when the funds stopped flowing and I was forced to fend for myself, I learned quickly what being an adult was all about.

Cut to getting a job and keeping a job. Let me preface this by stating that I come from a family of entrepreneurs and company folk. My Father did a short stint in corporate and then branched out on his own, whereas my Mother worked for the same institution for as long as I can remember, until she retired. I take after my Father in so many ways.

So back to Culprit America; in my many years of living and working here, nothing has made my skin crawl more than the dirty inner nasty politicking that one has to do to just to keep a 9-to-5.. It is not enough that one is capable, comes to work on time and does the job to the best of their abilities. No! There must be brown-nosing, butt-kissing and ass-licking to boot! There's talk of company culture, bunch of rubbish that should not have a place in any professional environment, characteristics that are contrary to anything that is purported to the general public. A company manual is handed to every individual but all the rules stay consistently broken. I have never been one to operate in grey areas, I like the stark naked truth - black and white!

How does one grow to learn, to be honest, respectful of others regardless of where they come from but on getting into corporate America, everything one has learned about ethics and morality gets thrown out the window? And then people wonder why/how the likes of Enron and Worldcom can happen.

I recently rolled off a project, where the vast majority of the employees knew not what they did. The team leads were more interested in who was sleeping with whom, smoke breaks and stupid inappropriate, often times, racist jokes. Complaints were made but at the end of the day the punishment was handed down to those making the legitimate complaints, while the incompetent inappropriate buggers got rewarded.

Company culture.

It's like selling ones soul to the devil - does one play the stupid game to keep ones job or not play and risk getting blacklisted? The sad stark reality is that no one ever wants be on the outside looking in so most people will play along; I know the boss is fucking my wife but I'll look the other way cause I'm getting a paycheck. 


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Death's Finality...Life's Fragility...

Death always forces one to recognize the fragility of life...especially when it is unexpected and abrupt.

On Saturday, February 11, 2012...Whitney Houston died!

They say she was 48, she was found under water in the bathtub at the Beverly Hilton Hotel...cause of death, as at this time, still unknown.

When I heard the news...well, my sister informed me while I was catching reruns of RHWOBH at her place...Let me paint the picture-> her phone beeped, indicating a text message, she read it and gasped out loud. Then with her mouth still agape she looks at me and at that very moment my pulse increased exponentially...I looked at her saying, WHAT!!! Then she says, "Whitney Houston is dead." Now, friends, I have warned my sister never to give me news like that, by like that, I mean her conveyance and delivery of bad/sad news because she's my sister and I immediately start thinking the message is closer to home.

Well, after I breathed a sigh of relief(you can't blame me), I asked the what, where, when and how, but of course there were no answers...or were there?!

Whitney, a woman who possessed a gift that could only have been bestowed on her from God, had a protracted addiction and I'm sure 'tis what did her in.

She has become a cautionary tale!

The weird thing is when you listen to her music, the words are so inspirational, strong and filled with hope; one has to wonder if she ever listened to her own music or is the fact that she was not a songwriter, did not write any of her songs, a case for the contrary behaviour?

This is the reason I'm more angry than sad!!

Nonetheless, may her soul rest in perfect peace and my condolences to her family.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Home Alone...

Lately, I've been huddled up at home, always in front of my computer, searching, reading, watching...I look up sometimes and out of my window to see the world, everyone, going about their business and I wonder, what the fuck am I doing here? Why in the hell am I not out, breathing the air, doing things, going places and then it hits me...Lols, you're single! But then I say so fucking what, I'm single, being single is fun. I can go where I want, do what I want, whenever I want and I don't need to check in with anyone.

But who am I kidding, huh? I do want to check in with someone, I do want to go places with someone, I do want to do things with someone but whenever did it get so difficult to find that someone? I'll tell you when...

Today, I went out, I'm single, I can go where I want, whenever I want..bla, bla, I went to the local pizzeria, lovely spot, pizza to die for...It was such a beautiful day, windy but beautiful nonetheless.

The plan was to hangout on the patio, eat a nice pie and read an interesting book, "Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters". I ate up my pizza, the wind was coming on strong, so I put down my book, just as my phone rang.

I answered the call and it was my friend on the other end, we chatted, while talking to him, this older gentleman walked onto the patio and waved. When I concluded my call, he asked me where I was from, I asked him why, and he said because I sound like I'm from Africa. I told him, and he proceeded to chat me up, I invited him to join me because it looked ridiculous talking to him as he was three tables away. And while he went on and on about how great a companion he would be to me, and how gorgeous I am, all I could think of was, is this guy for real and how the hell do I attract people I'm not attracted too?

He was cool, he picked up my tab, he really didn't have to, it is, after-all, a recession. I kept looking at him while he yapped, trying to find something remotely attractive to me...while he talked, tears ran down his cheek from his left eye, maybe an overactive tear duct, who knows. Oh, and did I mention, he talked with his mouth full, and of course here's food flying out of his mouth every chance it got!

Oh, yes! That's when it got difficult to find that someone...There is a never-ending supply of Mr. Not-so-Attractive-to-me. Every time I go out, I meet someone but he is never that someone. So that's why, lately, I've been huddled up at home, always in front of my computer, searching, reading, watching...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Online Dating...The Persian

Hmmm, the Persian...I liked him...

..even though he lied about his age and his name. I understand people using aliases on dating sites but when you take the next step to meet with someone, I feel as a rule of etiquette, the basics should be revealed. Basics like, hey Lols, I know on the site it states that I am 42 years old but I'm actually 53...I know it says my name is John but my real name is ...

I shouldn't have to catch you answering your phone with a completely different name and when I ask, then and only then do you tell me John isn't your real name.

Anyway, the Persian...I liked him, he was cute, sue me...He definitely looked older with a little bit of a potbelly, attributes that were not visible from his photos but I liked him. There was something about him. He had a great sense of humour, I never laughed so much.

We started off meeting at the local cafe; we had such a great time there, we didn't want it to end, we headed off to see a movie and had dinner. We spent the whole day together. At the end of the day, I couldn't get past the silly little lies; I kept thinking if he could lie about the little things what big things could he be keeping from me. After my second date with him, which was just as great as our first meeting, I knew I would not be seeing him again. I still think about him every now and then but I know it would not have worked because the foundation was mush!

Stick a fork in me....I'm done!