Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Raven-Symone...I don't want to be labeled

Raven-Symone is an African-american/black woman who apparently is in a same-sex relationship and is happy.

Just last week, she appeared on an episode of "where are they now" on Oprah and proclaimed that she does not want to be labeled; she said she is not african-american and does not want to be labeled "gay".

Today, black America is in an uproar!

She has been accused of experiencing mental slavery; people have called her a moron and a whole lot of other derogatory remarks have been spewed upon her.

What I have found is that people in this country lack the mental patience or verbosity to communicate. Conversations are ever so literal and succinct; which makes it easy to dwell on the tiniest little slip.

Let's just take a hot minute to really think about what this young woman is trying to say.

Raven-Symone saying that she is not African-American, in my opinion, does not mean that she is denying her race. She qualified that by saying, she is American! She does not want to be boxed in. She doesn't know what her total racial makeup is and she really does not care or is not motivated to research it. What she does know is that she was born in America and is American and she is fine with that. I get that!

This country is inappropriately focused on the wrong things, (race, sexual orientation, etc)! I have a colleague who has been unemployed for over a year who keeps asking if white people are going through the same thing he is going through. Seeing as how caucasians are the majority in this country, I am fairly certain that there are a good bit of white people who are unemployed. However, when I ask him if he would take a job on an oil rig or construction, he immediately talks about how he can't work an outside job because he'll catch a cold and gets sick easily! I wonder, is he really trying to get out of his predicament or is he just mad and blaming white people for his predicament.

Now, I may be wrong in my thought process, and Raven-Symone may actually not want to identify with her African roots but who fucking cares! Well, according to this blogger's readers, there are young impressionable African Americans who are looking up to Raven-Symone as their role model. Ha!

When are people going to realize that entertainers are not role models! They are like court jesters of old, here to entertain and just that. People should not be looking to them for wisdom and knowledge, that is what you have your parent's for, your educators for! Entertainers play pastors on tv but in real life are child molesters and predators. These are not people one should emulate or aspire to be.

So Raven-Symone, do you! I understand your neutrality, I understand your choice of just wanting to be a happy, healthy human being. However, if one day you decide to do some digging into your history and you happen to find out that you are in fact African-American, you don't need to go back to Oprah for a televised declaration, we already know.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Culprit America

Living in America has been both rewarding and depressing; rewarding because it forces one to mature, depressing because it forces one to mature...**cue double-edged sword**

In Nigeria, one has the luxury of living in one's parents' home even until/after marriage; not such a good idea because of the feeling of entitlement it bestows on the individual. Although I attended a boarding school in Nigeria, I was still very much under the auspices of my parental units. Moving to the States, at first, was not too different from boarding school, however, when the funds stopped flowing and I was forced to fend for myself, I learned quickly what being an adult was all about.

Cut to getting a job and keeping a job. Let me preface this by stating that I come from a family of entrepreneurs and company folk. My Father did a short stint in corporate and then branched out on his own, whereas my Mother worked for the same institution for as long as I can remember, until she retired. I take after my Father in so many ways.

So back to Culprit America; in my many years of living and working here, nothing has made my skin crawl more than the dirty inner nasty politicking that one has to do to just to keep a 9-to-5.. It is not enough that one is capable, comes to work on time and does the job to the best of their abilities. No! There must be brown-nosing, butt-kissing and ass-licking to boot! There's talk of company culture, bunch of rubbish that should not have a place in any professional environment, characteristics that are contrary to anything that is purported to the general public. A company manual is handed to every individual but all the rules stay consistently broken. I have never been one to operate in grey areas, I like the stark naked truth - black and white!

How does one grow to learn, to be honest, respectful of others regardless of where they come from but on getting into corporate America, everything one has learned about ethics and morality gets thrown out the window? And then people wonder why/how the likes of Enron and Worldcom can happen.

I recently rolled off a project, where the vast majority of the employees knew not what they did. The team leads were more interested in who was sleeping with whom, smoke breaks and stupid inappropriate, often times, racist jokes. Complaints were made but at the end of the day the punishment was handed down to those making the legitimate complaints, while the incompetent inappropriate buggers got rewarded.

Company culture.

It's like selling ones soul to the devil - does one play the stupid game to keep ones job or not play and risk getting blacklisted? The sad stark reality is that no one ever wants be on the outside looking in so most people will play along; I know the boss is fucking my wife but I'll look the other way cause I'm getting a paycheck. 

Buggery!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Death's Finality...Life's Fragility...

Death always forces one to recognize the fragility of life...especially when it is unexpected and abrupt.

On Saturday, February 11, 2012...Whitney Houston died!

They say she was 48, she was found under water in the bathtub at the Beverly Hilton Hotel...cause of death, as at this time, still unknown.

When I heard the news...well, my sister informed me while I was catching reruns of RHWOBH at her place...Let me paint the picture-> her phone beeped, indicating a text message, she read it and gasped out loud. Then with her mouth still agape she looks at me and at that very moment my pulse increased exponentially...I looked at her saying, WHAT!!! Then she says, "Whitney Houston is dead." Now, friends, I have warned my sister never to give me news like that, by like that, I mean her conveyance and delivery of bad/sad news because she's my sister and I immediately start thinking the message is closer to home.

Well, after I breathed a sigh of relief(you can't blame me), I asked the what, where, when and how, but of course there were no answers...or were there?!

Whitney, a woman who possessed a gift that could only have been bestowed on her from God, had a protracted addiction and I'm sure 'tis what did her in.

She has become a cautionary tale!

The weird thing is when you listen to her music, the words are so inspirational, strong and filled with hope; one has to wonder if she ever listened to her own music or is the fact that she was not a songwriter, did not write any of her songs, a case for the contrary behaviour?

This is the reason I'm more angry than sad!!

Nonetheless, may her soul rest in perfect peace and my condolences to her family.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Home Alone...

Lately, I've been huddled up at home, always in front of my computer, searching, reading, watching...I look up sometimes and out of my window to see the world, everyone, going about their business and I wonder, what the fuck am I doing here? Why in the hell am I not out, breathing the air, doing things, going places and then it hits me...Lols, you're single! But then I say so fucking what, I'm single, being single is fun. I can go where I want, do what I want, whenever I want and I don't need to check in with anyone.

But who am I kidding, huh? I do want to check in with someone, I do want to go places with someone, I do want to do things with someone but whenever did it get so difficult to find that someone? I'll tell you when...

Today, I went out, I'm single, I can go where I want, whenever I want..bla, bla, bla...so I went to the local pizzeria, lovely spot, pizza to die for...It was such a beautiful day, windy but beautiful nonetheless.

The plan was to hangout on the patio, eat a nice pie and read an interesting book, "Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters". I ate up my pizza, the wind was coming on strong, so I put down my book, just as my phone rang.

I answered the call and it was my friend on the other end, we chatted, while talking to him, this older gentleman walked onto the patio and waved. When I concluded my call, he asked me where I was from, I asked him why, and he said because I sound like I'm from Africa. I told him, and he proceeded to chat me up, I invited him to join me because it looked ridiculous talking to him as he was three tables away. And while he went on and on about how great a companion he would be to me, and how gorgeous I am, all I could think of was, is this guy for real and how the hell do I attract people I'm not attracted too?

He was cool, he picked up my tab, he really didn't have to, it is, after-all, a recession. I kept looking at him while he yapped, trying to find something remotely attractive to me...while he talked, tears ran down his cheek from his left eye, maybe an overactive tear duct, who knows. Oh, and did I mention, he talked with his mouth full, and of course here's food flying out of his mouth every chance it got!

Oh, yes! That's when it got difficult to find that someone...There is a never-ending supply of Mr. Not-so-Attractive-to-me. Every time I go out, I meet someone but he is never that someone. So that's why, lately, I've been huddled up at home, always in front of my computer, searching, reading, watching...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Online Dating...The Persian

Hmmm, the Persian...I liked him...

..even though he lied about his age and his name. I understand people using aliases on dating sites but when you take the next step to meet with someone, I feel as a rule of etiquette, the basics should be revealed. Basics like, hey Lols, I know on the site it states that I am 42 years old but I'm actually 53...I know it says my name is John but my real name is ...

I shouldn't have to catch you answering your phone with a completely different name and when I ask, then and only then do you tell me John isn't your real name.

Anyway, the Persian...I liked him, he was cute, sue me...He definitely looked older with a little bit of a potbelly, attributes that were not visible from his photos but I liked him. There was something about him. He had a great sense of humour, I never laughed so much.

We started off meeting at the local cafe; we had such a great time there, we didn't want it to end, we headed off to see a movie and had dinner. We spent the whole day together. At the end of the day, I couldn't get past the silly little lies; I kept thinking if he could lie about the little things what big things could he be keeping from me. After my second date with him, which was just as great as our first meeting, I knew I would not be seeing him again. I still think about him every now and then but I know it would not have worked because the foundation was mush!

Stick a fork in me....I'm done!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Girls that like girls...

Okay, don't get excited...this is not a post to satisfy your fantasies - boys, so look away if that is what you are expecting.

I wondered why it is so difficult for women to get along with other women. I mean, men have their,
bros before hoes mantra
men can hang with their boys and absolutely love it but why do women always have drama?

I fell in love with Sex and the City and for a while Girlfriends was a fun show to watch...these shows proved that women can be best friends for real but unfortunately, it is not the case in real life.

Being a woman of a certain age and single, I've wanted to get a set of female friends together so we can hang out and share common interests.

The first frenemy, found a way to end our friendship over a trip because she was selfish and thought I wouldn't pay my end; she ended up looking foolish cause she did not have anyone to hang with and all my friends were there.

The second faux friend, who literally cried in my ear everyday about how much she wanted to get married, took off with the first guy that showed her the tiniest bit of attention...can't wait to hear how that story ends.

And now, this third back-stabber takes the cake. She just got off a bad break-up, which incidentally, I did too. However, she was taking hers really hard...I'm there to call him all the names in the book and help her understand that he was not the one. She loves to go out every night, I would say I'm somewhat conservative but I love a good time. She invites me out, maybe for lunch or we go get our nails done then she wants to hit the next night spot. Mind you, I'm looking crazy as fuck, while she is appropriately dressed and she says let's go. I go, because I believe the outing might cheer her up. She believes she is an experienced party girl and I am a beginner. Too funny...

Every time we've gone out, she thinks she looks better, because she is much smaller than me, plus I don't try...I told you guys, I am self-actualized, self assured!

Fast forward to a couple of days ago, I wanted some peach cobbler from some cafe we had visited once before when I looked and felt like a stuffed turkey but that's a whole 'nother story. I told her I had a hankering for it and she was up for it.

This time, I got dressed, put on some make up, no stuffed turkey tonight, biatch and off we went. She has a specific type of guy she likes, I didn't realize that this one guy (her spec) had been scoping me out all night, however, this other guy had been glued to me the entire time. When her spec couldn't take it any longer, he walks over to us and asks for my number, I ignore him because clearly I was sitting with a gentleman who just bought us drinks and that would have been rude. So he gives her his number, I guess she thought it was meant for her, she asks him if he wants her to call him but he says, no, I want you to give her my number so she can call me.

She went bananas, yelling at me, saying don't you ever, I am not your servant...bla bla bla, don't you have your phone, it was crazy, then she proceeded to give him my number.

It was the oddest thing! I had no intention of giving out my number to anyone, it was an evening out to eat, laugh out loud, flirt a little but go home without any attachments.

For someone who is always on about being a wingman, that was a poor showing on her part. Oh, well another one bites the dust!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Online Dating...The Crypt Keeper

I know it sounds awful but this dude ...

Well, let me start from the very beginning...I want you to know that I am an equal opportunity dater...what do you mean, dear Lols, you say? Well, I mean I do not discriminate. I don't care about Race, creed, age whatever!! I'm all about your brain and how much mental stimulation I get from being around you.

So this dude was the next guy to chat me up online, almost at the same time as the Chef; his profile read like an ad, so I googled him. I found some other website he had previously been on with the same photos from four years back. I asked him about that and his explanation seemed somewhat logical so I kept communicating with him. We decided to take the conversation from the computer to the phone and every time we spoke, he sounded very professional, that should have been my second clue. My first clue should have been his age but I just told you, I'm an equal opportunity dater.

He finally got the courage to ask for a meet; I accepted and we planned to meet at a local coffee shop. Let me tell you that this guy was always very polite, always very respectful, I was really taking a liking to him and could not wait to meet him.

On the day we were to meet, I had a date with the Chef too, one of the dates that he cancelled on, I was actually cool with him cancelling cause I wondered how I could blow-off TCK if I ended up having a really good time with the Chef but thanks to his royal flakiness, I didn't have to.

So time to meet up, I got there and he looked much older than his photos but not too too bad to where he needed a good telling off. We sat down at a table for two and that's where it all came crashing down...cue the jeopardy countdown music, crickets, any thing that conjures up awkward silent moments; I tell you, I believe I did that nodding-off-quick-wake-up thing many times...It was an epic disaster.

I looked at my bare wrist and wished I had a watch sitting on it, so I could say, oh look, is that the time, I really need to get going? In the end, I couldn't take the boredom anymore, after twenty minutes of talking about how I loved treesI really am fascinated by them but this guy was not giving me anything to work with, I told him I had some work to finish up and needed to leave.

He walked me to my car, I stretched out my hand for a shake, he ignored and hugged me, that was uber weird; I said good night and took off to the land of the living.

Strike two!