Sunday, January 14, 2007

Onye O si amu mere ya ni ni...

I had a friend visiting from the UK and a whole bunch of jand people were here for a wedding. My friend told me about it and wanted to know if I would be attending;
I have for whatever reason (weight gain, lack of duchie for baffs, you name it) become a recluse, so I told her well, just put my name down. She must have sensed my resistance because she did not RSVP me. Anyway, she called me when she got into town 2 days later after much partying, Friday night she calls me and says, hey chic, there’s a bachelors party tonight, drag your ass out and come pick me up so we can gbedu! Funny, I guess she did not realize that the only gbeduing would be between me and my 600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. I told her no such luck and she said to me just before hanging up, no wonder you are still single! Oh Well!
Anyway, I met up with her the day of the wedding, she wanted to go to the mall to do some shopping before the wedding, I got to the hotel where she was staying with her friend another brit by way of Morocco, this chic by the way was lushed out of her mind and blunted from the time I met her till the time they left back to London. At the elevators, there were a few Naija dudes staring so intently at me, this one dude came chyking, are you going up to room so so so, slightly irritated I answered him asking who wants to know then he goes into this long I am your friend’s friend the brother to the groom….like I give a f***.
Already put off by his need to throw ebonics and yankee slang my way, “watchu no good”, “ammu hollaatya later,” “just trying to make a dollar out of fittycent,” I was tired!

Long story short, I don’t have anything against slang, as par Naija babe, slang is part of our lingua franca but for someone you have never met before and obviously trying to make an impression, evidently not a good one, it is ever so irksome to hear that falling out of a Naija man’s mouth especially if he just moved from Naij to Yankee three months ago! What is wrong with being natural, I know how excited I get when I am around my fellow Nigerians after much biting of tongue and making sure I am pronouncing words the American way and not the Nig-Brit way! Ah ah! It was not cute oh!

Am I just one anal chica?

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