Wednesday, January 31, 2007

TO ANGIE....

Jolie my love,

I am so sorry about the loss of Mummy Marcheline. As I said before and I'll say it again ~ Cancer is a bloody bitch!!!!

My love, please take joy and solace in the fact that you got to spend time with a loving woman and she got to spend time with her grandkids.

I cannot begin to imagine how badly you feel but know that she is in a better place where she no longer has to suffer through the debilitating trauma that comes with having that very disease.

I love you and I have you and your family in my prayers.

Take heart!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Movies that freak my freak...

Okay, I told you that I was a superhero freak, I just love them.

Witness the trailers out this summer:

Fantastic Four

Spiderman

Ooooooh! I cannot wait!

What do you think?

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Who's your daddy....

I heard a very disturbing story last night:

A friend of mine had been married to this woman and somewhere along the way their marriage fizzled as the wife had an affair and consequently got pregnant then asked for a divorce claiming he was not the father of the “child”.

Later, she contacts him telling him that she has reported him to the government and he will be held to the tune of almost $15,000 for back child support payments.

Now, this woman had already been hitting him up for money after she came back and “confessed” that he was actually the father of the “child”. On account that he is making a hell of a lot more money now she felt it necessary to go to the government to enforce payments.

Stupidly, he starts making these payments, well I shouldn’t say that since he did retain lawyers to help him with this case and I am also shocked that the courts did not request proof before handing down the hammer.

Well…..I guess something must have fallen out of the sky and bumped him on the head, that or maybe the fact that this woman never insisted on him visiting the “child”, he decides he wants to see his “child”, might as well if he’s going to be having his wages garnished. Surprised he never saw this child, reason being that the woman moved away immediately after the divorce.

Takes one look at the kid and knows immediately that the “child” isn’t his; what’s funny is how put it,
there are certain features that are pronounced in my family that this “child” did not possess. Yeah right!!!

GET A PATERNITY TEST FOOL!!!!!!!

Anyway, five years later and over $10,000 in the loo, he orders a paternity test and lo and behold, he is not the “child’s” fazzer.

Which gets me thinking is it to the point that the hospitals need to start requesting a compulsory paternity test before writing down any name on the birth certificate?

And should this woman not spend some time in jail for unfairly imposing this time-wasting sentence on this man!

Just think, he could have met the wife of his dreams but lost her on the merit of being a non-child-support-paying-baby-momma-drama divorced cad!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Movie Reviews....Honourable Mention

And the Award for Hard Bodies and Eye-M*****F******* Candy goes too...Oh! Look it's a tie!

Drum Roll please Casino Royale and Stomp the yard!

Casino Royale


I would like to thank Columbia Pictures for giving me that Kodak moment of Danny coming out of the water on the beach, not once but two times ~ cut to me salivating! Thank you to the cinematographers for shooting so closely and bringing me that wonderful view of Danny's....~commence clearing of throat~.... package! I'd also like to thank Danny's personal trainer for shaping him into that finely, chiseled sculpture of the specimen we call man and also the makers of the bikini he wore, need I say more! I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Seriously, I am happy the producers understand that James Bond is not only for the guys, we ladies like action movies too and we deserve to see some eye-candy! My date tried to shield my eyes during those Halle Berryesque scenes, I was not having any of that!!!!I was very satisfied when for my viewing pleasure and just in case I missed it the first time, they showed it again! Thank you!


Stomp the yard
I want to thank the boys of Theta Nu Theta for standing on top of that mountain with their shirts off! Nuff said!
I enjoyed this movie, I like dance and this movie kept me very excited the moves were great, the story line we've seen so many times but still refreshing! I especially enjoyed the never-ending supply of beefcake! Yummy!!!

New Release:
Smokin Aces
Last Night, we had movie night! I knew what I wanted to see but it was a case of majority carrying the vote! There were a few new releases one I wanted to see was *Blood and Chocolate*, yes, I would have been very fulfilled had I seen this because my boyfriend Olivier Martinez(yes, we started dating right after Unfaithful) is in that movie, and another was *Smokin Aces*! Well, the majority decided on *Smokin Aces*, it wasn't too too painful because Jeremy Piven, who by the way was fantastic in this role and every other role he plays and an Ex top eight, Ray Liotta, when I say ex I don't mean we are through, I just mean, he hasn't been around much. Also, Ryan Reynolds(cutie pututie), Andy Garcia(Hottie) and Common, who was looking hella foooine in this movie, if I may say so myself, richly made up for the chump that is Ben Affleck being in this movie!

If you haven't seen this movie Look Away Now, movie spoiler moment in 3,2,1.... Ben Affleck's character was killed in this movie, to my greatest satisfaction!!!!! ROTFLMAO! That scene in which he was killed was the funniest thing I have watched on TV in a very long time, just priceless! Well, that and the Little boy on Ritalin and The Three Brothers Tremors, they were hilarious, oh and Jason Bateman's Character, yeah, he stole the show, his scene-stealing-self was crazy as hell, now that is one funny dude! Very good laugh, probably have to rent it and watch it on DVD to pause and rewind, there was a lot of dialogue and if you blinked you could miss some of the plot. Scenes/Dialogue to watch out for, Ray and Ryan in the Van beginning of the movie, Ben and the two other guys on the side of the road discussing strategy, on their way to Lake Tahoe getting gunned down by the tremors, loved it! Taraji and Alicia at the concierge in the hotel, Jeremy everywhere, Andy and Ryan at the end of the movie, The Tremors Brother and the guy with his four fingers shot off!


That does it for today! Laters!

Movie Reviews...Oscar Nominees

Okay, my first installment of reviews and predictions for the Oscars. I shall only focus on these categories: Performance by Actor/Actress in Leading/Supporting Roles, Achievement in Directing and Best Motion Picture of the year.

I'll start with *Dreamgirls* - we your dreamgirls, is it just me or does everyone break into the song every time that movie is mentioned! Okay, I decided to see this movie because of Eddie Murphy's character and the third dreamgirl that nobody talks about, who by the way held her own beside the other two most talked about women in the movie. I was out on a date and we got to the theatre early, so instead of waiting for our movie(we went to see *Casino Royale* - see my Honourable mention article), we snuck into *Dreamgirls* as it was beginning, it was good but not enough to keep me from going to see the movie we originally planned to see.
Great dresses, loved the hair, make-up was to die for(self-proclaimed make-up artist freak, so I should know)! B was gorgeous as always but, no offense, she needs to leave the acting to the professionals. Especially the scene in which she is discussing a movie role with John Lithgow and the other guy, she could not deliver that dialogue, it was also obvious that she has never cussed in her beautiful existence. I love you B but you are not an actress! It is kind of strange because watching Beyonce in her music videos, I can see why a director would want to cast her in a movie, my advice, get Daddy to enrol you in some speech and acting classes! Nominated for PERFORMANCE BY ACTOR, ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE, Eddie Murphy and Jennifer Hudson, there was talk about being snubbed or shut out but I think Oscar got this one right. I agree!


Next up, *The Last King of Scotland*, Funny! I watched *The Rise and Fall of Idi Amin* years ago, this was a different view because we are learning about Idi Amin's life through the eyes of this very wayward Doctor, who would sleep with anything that walks! Forrest Whitaker was excellent with a capital "E"! The accent(I loved the way he would say, "NI-KHO-LAS", every time he talked to the doctor), his mannerisms everything was spot on! I say this because I knew Idi Amin personally! I kid! Nominated for PERFORMANCE BY ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE, I agree, I predict he will win too!

We move on to *Blood Diamond*, I loved this movie! The dialogue was great! I would say this was a good year for Leonardo Di'Caprio in the theatres, he got very good roles and he executed them perfectly! He's performance in this movie gets him into my top eight of leading men, which brings me to another contender for my top eight Djimon Hounsou; this dude is excellent at playing the oppressed-but-not-suppressed bad ass. He held his own in this movie and it really is a toss up for who captivated me more, him or Leo but no need to fight boys, there's plenty of love for both of you:) Nominated for PERFORMANCE BY ACTOR IN A LEADING AND SUPPORTING ROLE, respectively! A loud resounding, I agree!

Doing good, next up is *The Pursuit Of Happyness*, a documentary on how to maximize your time, Salesmanship 101. I kid, I kid! It was good, had some high points. Was it just me or was Thandie Newton looking a little too anorexic-cum- crack-fiendish - oh my God! Where is this coming from but seriously, I've always thought of her as a beautiful woman she just looked a little too skinny, almost refugee-like, sorry, as I watched I almost flew over San Francisco to drop off a bag of rice for her! Jaden Christopher Syre Smith - in case you didn't know you better ask somebody- was kyuuuuttteee! Will Smith was quite charming, a few show-stealing scenes: When he was hit by the car, him chasing after his bone density scanners after losing them in some funny situations, the bathroom at the BART and the one that got me, his promotion, yes, I cried! Nominated for PERFORMANCE BY ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE Will Smith, I agree!

Now we see *The Devil Wears Prada*, the devil has bad taste! Listen, I love designers but Prada! This is one designer that I believe should be stripped of the name designer, okay too harsh but Miuccia Prada should be bent over a lap and spanked for some of the crap she puts out, I mean, come on! But I digress! The movie was nwamp nwamp - well, that is until Meryl Streep stepped in and saved the day! She was deliciously wicked in this movie! When I grow up, I wanna be just like her! I absolutely loved her performance but then again to expect anything less of her would be absurd. Nominated for PERFORMANCE BY ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE, totally, I agree, I predict she will win too!



To close up this installment, we see *The Departed*! Gritty, great dynamic cast, everyone held their own, surprised Alec Baldwin wasn't nominated 'cause he was one funny S.O.B in this movie. They were all great, Leo, Jackie, Matt, Markitty Markitty Mark, Alec, Vera, Kevin, Marty, Anthony and Bobby! Phew! My favorites of course, My Marky Mark, Leo and Matt(duplicitous-lying-snitch ass character, he was great)! Great movie! On your seat's edge throughout the movie, not predictable. Funny, as I type this I just realized the meaning behind the title - if you have not seen this movie yet, look away now - movie spoiler moment in 3,2,1 - the three main characters died, infact almost everyone in the movie ended up getting killed! Hence the Departed! Wow! I just got it - insert air applauses here! Great Movie, Great Cast! Nominated for PERFORMANCE BY ACTOR IN SUPPORTING ROLE, Mark Wahlberg; ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING, Martin Scorsese and BEST MOTION PICTURE OF THE YEAR! I agree and agree and agree, I also predict Mark Wahlberg wins!



C'est tout, until I am willing to shell out another $9.50 at Regal Cinema(ah, rape much)! Tchuse!

Movie Reviews...

Okay, I love the movies! I may not have mentioned yet how much I love the movies but I really really do. I have a few favourite leading men that I will most definitely go watch regardless of the movie storyline.

To name a few - Johnny Depp(love, love, love him),

Russell Crowe(we started a recent love affair, he hasn't let me down yet), Adrian Brody(awwooooohhhh - you know, wolf howling, as in, he's hot, you've gotta keep up now!),

Mark Wahlberg(Sexy beast, he's got a boat load of my panties with his cool talking self),

Edward Norton(I was hooked after Primal Fear), Terrence Howard(he is just too sexy for his own good, plus, this is one man I don't mind watching cry),

Don Cheadle(class act to die for) and Benecio Del Toro(we've been dating since Usual suspects) - there's more but these are my top Eight!

On the flipside, there are a few people that will cause me to make an about turn at the theatre knowing that they have a role in the movie; one such person is Ben Affleck! Yuck and Double Yuckity yuck! He gets on my nerves, these feelings I have are personal!
I think it started from that whole Bennifer scare! I LOVE J-Lo, adore her, I just wish she had never dated/nearly married this chump because I knew from the start that the whole think was a set up! Imagine the effrontery of this dude cheating on my Jenny from the block with Jennifer Garner, nice, it helps when the woman you're cheating with has the same name as your fiancée, no slip ups when doing the drrty! Crazy! I know! Oh, you mean me, hee hee! I have issues! LMAO!

I digress!

Okay, so, Movie Reviews, yes...During The Oscars, I like to go see the movies and the actors performances after the nominations have been announced, I know, right, like I'm one of the judges, ha, but seriously, it's fun! So I will give my two cents on a few I have seen lately, I'll punctuate each paragraph by saying I agree or disagree or agree to disagree *that just means I can be bought*!

I will also throw in a few honourable mentions not on the Academy Awards ticket, maybe because I enjoyed it or not! This may end up being a long one so I will break it up into a few parts.

Enjoy!

Australian Open...

Bravo Serena!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Catch a Fire...Naija Style

Okay, the great thing about working from home and being able to command your own hours is the freedom to do what you want when you want...I love it!!!

I am saying this because since I discovered this amazing online magazine blog -
BELLA NAIJA - I have started everyday by visiting this amazing blog to get my fix about all things entertainment from my loving homeland Nigeria. I like the format, beautiful Pictures, Video and some interesting articles. Just beautiful! She also has a list of other Nigeria-related Blogs.

Not having the normal everyday interaction with my people and having to hear negative reports about Naij on the network TV stations here; the positivity and the showcasing of unending talent always brings a smile to my face.

Always a good way to start my day! Please keep it up!


Kudos Chica!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Jason Lewis...


HOT!!!


I was just going to leave it at that but I just needed to say a little more....Marry Me!!!
Here's me singing to you....you're beautiful, you're beautiful, it's true!!

LOL!!! but seriously...Marry me :)

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Influences...

When I get a visitor who leaves a comment on my blog, I check to see if they have established blogs of their own and then I visit them if open to the public.

One of such recent visitors is a young 20 year old, established blogger – exschoolnerd – whose creative juices are at an elevated level right now.

Yesterday, after the meeting I had to attend and returning a few phone calls, I turned off the ringer on my phones and settled in front of my laptop to research this child. I must admit since I discovered that there is a sea of brilliant Nigerian prosers out there I have become an avid reader once again, who would have thunk it! Well, I guess it is my Nigerian pride and my need to see more positive views here, where on any given day, there is a never-ending supply of negative portrayals, one after another.
Anyway, back to Laide, for someone who has never travelled out of Nigeria, I don’t even believe she has ever been on a plane and does not even possess her own computer yet has a better knowledge of a lot more American TV shows than I do; she is completely Americanized. Now, I'm not saying that that's such a bad thing but more that it is amazing how one's life can be shaped and influenced by sitting in front of a television box.

Even though there is a tinge of ambiguity in her writing, you can also tell that she has lived a very troubled life by the sometimes grimy picture she paints of her childhood.

I gleaned from her diaries that she spends a lot of time in front of the tube, which is probably her escape from a lot of the issues she never faces or wants to confront, which makes me wonder if any of those experiences are factual or just some made up fantasy.

If factual, I must commend her a little about the way she has handle herself but I feel she needs to form a better relationship with her mum and tell her everything that she has been going through, I don’t mean overload her but gradually get a good vibe going with her mother, or Father.
On the flipside, if these things are made up, then, what an imagination!
Use that imagination towards some greater goal! I think she has had enough television to last her a life-time. Enough TV! Write a commentary for a newspaper or magazine, spend time putting together a script and send to the Nigerian television studios since she has complained about the lack of prime programming on Nigerian stations. Start working on that Pulitzer or was it Nobel Prize that she aspires to. Focus on school work because no matter what that Undergraduate University Degree is important.

Find some positive Nigerian influences! Forget about America for a while!

Overall, great job but I must say, this is the time to take advantage of that creativity, do not let anything deter you.

Kudos!

Friday, January 19, 2007

I love me some caped crusaders


Okay, how old am I, again?

Whatever! I admit! I am in love with the superheroes; give me Smallville, X-men, Spiderman and now that fantastic TV show called Heroes!

Yesterday’s episode of Smallville was wonderful! Oh! My goodness, I could not get enough! It featured the Justice League, Hot hot hot Green Arrow, fine-ass Aquaman, sleek talking absolutely charming Flash(they called him impulse) and too-cute-for-his-own good Cyborg! Oooh! I was foaming at the mouth, get a grip Lolita!

But seriously, it was just too good!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Say it ain't so Whitney...

So she kicked Bobby to the curb, as much as it saddens me to see another married couple divorce, this may have been warranted. A marriage is about stability amongst so many other things but that was the most topsy torvy relationship if I ever did see one.
But wait, what did I see yesterday on Extra! Extra! Whitney with little Ray J?

Oh! Please tell me this is another tabloid rumour with no validity because I am going to start crying for this woman.

Forget Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Whitney needs stability, someone who is mature and responsible, leave this little boy for the little girls.

I really hope this is just fodder to hype up her upcoming return and nothing else!

Peace!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Onye O si amu mere ya ni ni...

I had a friend visiting from the UK and a whole bunch of jand people were here for a wedding. My friend told me about it and wanted to know if I would be attending;
I have for whatever reason (weight gain, lack of duchie for baffs, you name it) become a recluse, so I told her well, just put my name down. She must have sensed my resistance because she did not RSVP me. Anyway, she called me when she got into town 2 days later after much partying, Friday night she calls me and says, hey chic, there’s a bachelors party tonight, drag your ass out and come pick me up so we can gbedu! Funny, I guess she did not realize that the only gbeduing would be between me and my 600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. I told her no such luck and she said to me just before hanging up, no wonder you are still single! Oh Well!
Anyway, I met up with her the day of the wedding, she wanted to go to the mall to do some shopping before the wedding, I got to the hotel where she was staying with her friend another brit by way of Morocco, this chic by the way was lushed out of her mind and blunted from the time I met her till the time they left back to London. At the elevators, there were a few Naija dudes staring so intently at me, this one dude came chyking, are you going up to room so so so, slightly irritated I answered him asking who wants to know then he goes into this long I am your friend’s friend the brother to the groom….like I give a f***.
Already put off by his need to throw ebonics and yankee slang my way, “watchu no good”, “ammu hollaatya later,” “just trying to make a dollar out of fittycent,” I was tired!

Long story short, I don’t have anything against slang, as par Naija babe, slang is part of our lingua franca but for someone you have never met before and obviously trying to make an impression, evidently not a good one, it is ever so irksome to hear that falling out of a Naija man’s mouth especially if he just moved from Naij to Yankee three months ago! What is wrong with being natural, I know how excited I get when I am around my fellow Nigerians after much biting of tongue and making sure I am pronouncing words the American way and not the Nig-Brit way! Ah ah! It was not cute oh!

Am I just one anal chica?

Wow! It's 2007 already...

It's 3:20am and if you didn't know it, I am an insomniac! I wonder, if it really is insomnia how come I am never lethargic the next morning from lack of sleep. It's funny but I have this uncanny ability to be active and alert even though I have not slept a wink. This is very odd since I used to be a very deep sleeper, once upon a time, I could not be awoken even if the house was on fire.
I have been away from the blog, not sure if it was my disappointment from not having many visitors or just that I haven't had much to say. I know it can't be that I haven't had much to say because I always do. I have been up all night trawling the blogosphere and I must tell you, this world has a menagerie of talented writers, very witty, bright and with a never-ending pool of vocabulary. I have fallen in love with a number of blog authors and was tempted to ask some hands in marriage.
Is it just me, or do you sometimes fall for people because of their wit. I have always been attracted to intelligent, smart, witty people. I have found this to be a problem being single and being introduced to people sans seeing them in person.
You end up having the best conversations every time you talk and then on the day of the big reveal, you're just not attracted to the person. Why? He’s great to talk to, he has a lovely voice, why should it matter what he looks like? You know what, I don’t even think it has anything to do with his looks, that certain “je ne sais pas,” is missing, yes, I know….Chemistry!

Anyway, yes, it is 2007 and I just never thought I would ever get to a point where I was willing to admit that I am ready to get married and settle down. Life until now has been a constant struggle and I am really ready to let someone else do the struggling for me. It is an odd feeling when at certain times I want to be married and on other times I just wish I was wealthy with no attachments so I can travel the world and report on my findings.